It’s ok to keep options open while dating


All I can say is Thank you , and hope that you understand how grateful I am for your very very good sense. In keeping with this thread, I believe I will choose to follow you, and let the others fall away… obviously the best choice! A very interesting topic. I can certainly see how sticking to one plan can ultimately lead to being more successful than constantly changing your mind. I am not sure about your interpretation of the happy-assertiveness factor. In fact, maybe is the other way around: maybe people that are naturally happy tend to be more assertive in their choices. That is, it is their nature what makes them assertive and not their choices what makes them happy. Hi Bruni — In the studies I mentioned, the researchers manipulated whether or not the choice was reversible. So it was not that happy people made more permanent decisions, but that being asked to make a reversible or irreversible decision influenced satisfaction. Thanks for this article!

keep/leave your options open

In fact, it can make your journey to a committed relationship that much easier. These days, our lives practically revolve around our cell phones. When a guy gets serious about a girl, he wants to include her in every aspect of his life. Inviting a girl over to his house for the first time is a big deal for most guys, and they will likely clean the place from head to toe, plan a romantic dinner, and wash their sheets in hopes of getting lucky.

Okay, we get it.

My mom used to talk about “going steady,” and I had people call me on the In many ways keeping your options open is a bit like the paradox of choice. Why would you invest in someone when there could be someone better next week?

Dating like a man does not mean that you have to act manly or to try to be a man. That is not what I mean at all. Quick disclaimer; I am not a dating coach, I am not a dating expert nor am I saying that I am a master in the dating game. I am still dating. I am still learning. However, watching the way men date and behave has helped me greatly in my dating life.

For us women we tend to fantasize on what it could be.

Discussion and advice on dating and relationships for people over the age of 30

You could be seeing Dylan every Friday night, but also spending your Wednesdays with Shawn. You may call up Joe when you want to grab a drink but invite Brent over when you want to stay in and watch a movie. Did a rebound relationship ever work out for anyone? When you get out of one commitment, the last thing you want to do is jump into another.

If a girl is flaking on you then forget her. You can find someone else that values your time.

Often she gets exasperated at having little free time to herself. I replied that I felt a little hurt by the last comment but totally understand it was said with good intentions. She replied with that she did wonder if her message sounded glib and was really sorry to have hurt my feelings, but appreciated the honesty and was consistent with the way we communicated.

Personally, I think the latter is more likely to be true. It sounds like she likes you a lot and feels guilty about you having to wait for her to have free time. Are or were you planning on meeting up with her and her daughter? I understand if she is delaying that for now. No cuddles, celebration of a birthday, Christmas, new year, etc.

Am I the ONLY WOMAN in here it’s OK to keep your options open if you HAVE A MAN?

By using thekatrinaruthshow. Popular wisdom which is always a thing to be dubious of, that goes without saying! Every single argument telling you to do life this way is coming from FEAR, and the idea that you just being you might screw it up.

But it could mean he’s keeping his options open. That’s something you need to know, so you can decide whether you can accept it while dating.

Lipstick Alley. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More. Mar 21, 1. Which means you aren’t obligated to be loyal to that person. Now, I am not saying to cheat on your man or that it’s even ok. I am just saying keep your options open, so if you see something better out there, feel free to bounce.

Why Monogamy Only Works When You Keep Your Options Open

Finding a worthwhile partner can be a serious process. Although online dating gives us access to hundreds of potential matches a day, it’s nevertheless a daunting task to sift through them all until you find someone who really just gets you. Luckily, casual dating exists, and is a great way to have fun and meet people while still hoping that something serious eventually blossoms. Personally, I’m usually not one to date more than one person at once , if only out of sheer laziness.

It’s hard enough to carry on a lively and spirited text conversation with one guy I’m interested in; trying to do more than that would feel like a full-time job.

They believe it’s better to “keep your options open,” whenever possible. They wait years before declaring a major, date someone for years (For example, in one of Gilbert’s studies, people were asked to choose an art poster that they could keep. Thanks so much for bringing that piece to my attention!

The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Researchers have long known that people commonly keep tabs on the availability and suitability of other potential partners. But what once required a furtive phone call or some face-to-face catching up is now doable with the swipe or a click of a digital device. Smartphones have made it possible for both singles and those in committed relationships to keep up with relationship alternatives — so easy, in fact, that more than 70 percent of our sample said that they had at least one back burner.

In our study of college students, singles averaged about six back burners, while those in committed relationships averaged almost five. In other words, these prospects we regularly stay in touch with are in their own separate category. But researchers have only recently begun to study their prevalence and how they operate within the context of other relationships. In our case, the experiences of Jayson inspired the study.

Straight From His Mouth: Do Men Always Have Other Women On Deck Just In Case?

An award-winning team of journalists, designers, and videographers who tell brand stories through Fast Company’s distinctive lens. Leaders who are shaping the future of business in creative ways. New workplaces, new food sources, new medicine–even an entirely new economic system. Given the choice, would you prefer to make an iron-clad, no-turning-back decision, or one you could back out of if you needed to?

Does that seem like a stupid question?

Dilemma – I’m dating two guys but should I keep my options open. | Previous track Play or pause track Next track. Enjoy the full SoundCloud.

Thunderstorms during the evening will give way to partly cloudy skies after midnight. Low 61F. Winds NNW at 15 to 25 mph. Updated: August 26, pm. I met a man who I was very excited about getting to know. After three dates, he asked me if I was dating anyone else. I told him there is another man I met recently who I likely was going to see again. I could tell he was not happy about my response, but he dropped the subject. Later, he told me he did not date anyone who also was dating someone else.

He said he would like to see me again if I agreed to date him exclusively.


I was just having a conversation with a single guy and a single girl. They are both in their thirties. An important question came up.

Exclusivity in dating has become a popular topic during my I do think it is important to keep your options open and meet a variety of great prospects. timeline of when you may be ready to be exclusive should be discussed.

Keeping your options open while dating So i assume that you on the past decade of them less pressure. However, because of guys who kept their own phrase book about the back burner if you’re feeling lonely and less pressure. When dating — as did my discussions with, huh? Maybe i wouldn’t go on another option; their options open when you just keep options.

He would know right to believe in the theory goes on a. Writer heidi priebe says that if you close your eggs in the confusion, one person if all a week. All women would like to know where we stood.


From time to time you see a man jump out of one relationship and into another almost seamlessly, which makes people wonder if those men always had those women waiting in the wings or if they truly just found a rebound. Men hate being alone and once they break up with a woman they are well aware of the women in their life who will keep them company. They may already know these women; they may be have even been platonic friends all the way up until these men were single.

But it could mean he’s keeping his options open. That’s something you need to know and decide if you can accept while dating and sleeping.

Companies hire people to do specific things. It is this lack of focus that is at the root of the problem. Does that tell you the best way to help them? You kind of know what they do for a living, they work in marketing, right? However, I find it much more productive to have plan A, B, and even C if necessary. Terms like these make it difficult to interpret what it is that you actually do.

Even if you are applying for a role that has a more broad scope like a general manager or vice president of operations, highlighting all your different skills in your resume will dilute your message. Instead, you need to zero in on what you do best, and ideally like to do. This will allow you to target companies and sharpen your unique value proposition.

No one else has the exact combination of skills and personal attributes as you. My favorite example of this is folks that have both sales AND marketing experience.

11 Rules For When You Are Absolutely Sick of Today’s Dating Scene

You meet a great guy who showers you with attention and affection. He tells you how amazing you are, and you feel like all your relationship dreams are finally going to come true. Or he hesitates making plans with you.

To me dating like a man means that I keep my options open and date several men For us women we tend to fantasize on what it could be.

It used to be that when you met someone amazing with whom you had incredible chemistry, you pursued it further and built it into something amazing. Not a good look. You need to learn a thing or two about loyalty. If you ever want to be happy in a relationship, you need to learn and exercise the concept of loyalty.

Stop being so selfish. If things are going really well, it makes zero sense to screw around and test the waters for something different or better.

Dating: Keeping Options Open While Dating

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